Every little sniff you take...

I ♥ Jimstin

Two of my other boyfriends got together last night and performed this for me :)

Mix & Match This B&%ch!

I just died a little inside. How does the most annoying person in radio get to live like this? Don't mind the cheese music and slow motion fade outs... but do mind the fact that the next time you hear her boasting about having enough matresses to reach 4km high, not back to front, but one on top of the other, that she could literally store them all in her foyer...

Neutralizing the Dill

The worlds two yummest flavors are finally combined by someone other than myself.  I've been neutralizing the dill on my movie popcorn for years now... in fact I think I should receive some royalties for this combination.  In any case, if you're a fan of Sour Cream & Onion Popcorn topping, than you're probably already aware that they've since discontinued this delicacy for no apparent reason. So I've been reduced to using White Chedder as my dill neutralizer, which is not so bad a subsitute, but lets face it, it's no SC&O. 

I knew I loved PC for a reason, they just speak my languange:

How not to shave a dog

 

NEWS BREAK!!!

My facebook group "Lorraines under 40 unite" that I started over 3 years ago finally has some members!! None of which are Lorraines uniting but who gives a crap... I have members!!  If I can help just one Lorraine out there, than I did my job... bahahaha.

"Lorraines" under 40 Unite... last of our breed

Category: Just for Fun -Totally Pointless 

Description:

This Group is for any Lorraine who is under 40, preferably under 30 but then I fear I might be the only one! If you've ever been called anything else other than Lorraine because someone just can't wrap their finger around the fact that you have the same name as their Spinster fat aunt Lorraine... (thanks Christopher)
or...
You've resorted to allowing people calling you Lee Ann, Lenore, Lorna, Laney, or any other effin L name they can think of! (thanks everyone in suds lol)
or...
You've tried to "coolify" your name by wanting to be called "Raine, Raina or Rorry"... to no avail BTW!!
or if...
Your friends try to make you feel better about your name, calling it 'Classic' or 'Sophisticated' and 'Timeless'
(Which in the end they are right... but it's also fun to laugh at the fact that it's such an oldie) lol.

If you meet any of the criterion please don't try to do this on your own... now you have support! Join and let us know your funny 'Lorraine' story.

Your Daily Finny

Bad Mommy!!

So guess what I learned about myself this weekend...I'm never going to be a dog groomer.

GS lent me her dog clipper and I honestly wasn't going to use them to shave-shave him, I just wanted to trim the crazy long bum fur and next thing I knew he had a shavened stripe going down his leg...  so I kept going and decided to give him the Lion Cut I always wanted the groomers to do but never did. I may still get Pet Smart or whoever to fix him a little, currently one side is completely smooth, the other is hideous, and his bum looks like baby duck feathers :S

Whip me like a hurricane ♪♫

Went to loblaws yesterday and got a glimpse of this hunk of junk on my way in...  A hurricane simulator? More like lawsuit stimulator...haha get it?

Who comes up with this stuff?  I have to admit though it is somewhat tempting... but there's no way I'm going in there to have my hair whip my face for 2 minutes. I'll be getting that in just a few short months, thank you Winter. 

In any case, I suppose for those of us no longer living in Bermuda but faking it on the avenue, we can have a small taste of Igor while my Bermuda friends continue to find oddities in their front lawns.  That's funny, because I have oddities out front as well, their just not hurricane after math. :S

Kor One Video

Hey, remember that water bottle I wouldn't shut up about? Well I'm still in lurve with it and I just found this video on Curtis' twitter... don't know why he didn't send it to me, but anywho, here's a little background info on how this little beauty got it's start:

GOP Rant by Curtis MacEachern

This is Curtis' interpretation of what happens before a GOP photo-op/ Press conference... What a witty and clever bear he is!

“Ok, Now everybody's gotta remember to wear khakis and a dress shirt but NO NECK TIES!!! We’re trying to pretend that we are the same as the blue-collar suckers we’re screwing over here, so we don’t wanna come across as rich. If you INSIST on wearing a blazer make sure it isn’t formal or well-fitting. Don’t forget to roll up them sleeves, fellas. That makes Joe Six Pack think that you’ve done manual labor. Trust me. They eat this stuff up every time. Ladies, be sure to dress like you are serving lemonade on your porch after thanksgiving dinner. I’d better not see one Chanel Suit. Pant-suits only. Does anybody have a barn-jacket or cardigan? No? Damn! That works every time. OK…plan B. We should stand in front of some type of raw materials, manufacturing equipment, tools, farm equipment, etc. It wouldn’t kill us to throw a flag somewhere too. That way if the hicks have the TV on mute they will at least know that we’re really America-ing it up. Ten seconds to air. Last white headcount. Everybody’s white, right? OK….Roll camera!!”

Your Daily Finny

Look at my little peanut butter bubble bum!! 
If something could go wrong when Finn was a baby then it did.  Take for instance his baby teeth... guess who had to get another operation to get his baby canines removed when they wouldn't fall out?  
Still a patootie though :)

NOT where Curtis is from...

Thanks Sarah!! Stole this from your facebook!!
Just so we're clear, while the accent is undecipherable to non maritimers, this is not where Curtis is from, in fact, it's a whole udda provintz!!

Almost as smart as Finnegan:

I want 10 puppies!

SOLD!

For those of you who care to know... (all 3 of you) the table is sold!!  This time the pictures of the placemats apparently appealed to the buyer. Another potential had come last week because they liked my plates.  Zellers people, I'm cheap!!

Doesn't make you a model (Blatant Parody)

LOVE THIS & LOVE HIM!!
He looks like Jason from True Blood 

Yumm yummm yummm Yummm whooooa ♪♫

SWING HARD!!

Guess what I got?! A coworker was giving away free DVD's at work today and I snatched one of my old fave's Swing Kids!!  I forgot how much I love this movie! So in typical Lorraine mispprenhension, I thought they were saying something German like Sing Hiel, which I didn't know what it was supposed to mean but figured it made sense to other people.  Anyways as you probably already know, they were saying: Swing Hard!  As bad as that is, it's by no means the worst of my misapprehensions... Baby Sven anyone?!

Update: So I've been watching the movie while working and I'm pretty sure they are saying something like swing Hiel... which probably means swing hard.  Feeling pretty good about myself right about now. lol.

Devils Sooooote.

It's Kingsley Y'all!!

Your Daily Finny & Me

Genius Idea

Eyehole Paintings with Adam West from Adam West

Big Brother Finale TONIGHT!!!

So after a long and arduous summer of watching the show faithfully 3x a week, we're finally going to see who the Big Brother Champion is!! I was googling for some spoilers and came across a major one... No not the winner, duhrr it's a live vote, but about that whole Saboteur decleration that 2 houseguests were lifelong friends.  Apparently, although I thought I remembered Julie confirming all this, the claim had never been substantiated by Big Brother Productions... So, booooo, because I honestly was still guessing this whole time. 

Oh well, the show must go on, and we'll see who walks away with 500k tonight!! 

Who do you want to win?

Your Daily Finny

It's Back!! But I'm in desperate need of new pics... so stay tuned!

PUT ME DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh man, this guy is going to wish he never went on this ride... 

Lovely

So this morning when I was leaving the house, Camo Truck John was just standing behind my car, on our side of the "baracade"  gingerly sipping his coffee. I got a "Morrrnnnnin;" and a "Dontchu look lovely today".  Like ughhhhhh what do you want? Why are you on my side of the parking lot, why are you near my car? Was he trying to look into my "windah"?  Anyways I quickly say thank you and run into my car. As soon as I start my car the low tire light comes on. 

Now I know it's a little paranoid delusional to suspect that he would touch my car, but he's a "mechanic" or at least he wears his mechanics outfit every effin day so chances are he knows how to release some air from my tires. Probably hoping that I'd be like" Oh No!! John help me you big dingus of a man". 

Naturally I didn't stop, I rather stahl in the middle of the road than spend any additional amount of time with this guy.  Luckily I made it to my unofficial Park and Ride and came to work. 

Foam-Ed Fingers

I ♥ Jimmy Fallon and Curtis for sending me this while I'm "working". I literally squawked at my desk within the first 30 seconds... so you've been warned.  I won't have your jobs or promotions on my conscience! 

Meihhhh....

Sooooo, we watched the season finale of True Blood last night. While I'm happy about some of the events that took place, I'm kinda dissapointed at the lack-luster finale.  There really wasn't much to entice me to watch next season (other than Erick).  I almost feel like what we watched wasn't the final episode but the before last, alas, it's not the case tho... Anywho, they didn't lose a viewer or anything, I'm still as addicted as I was before, but I just feel like a season finale should always leave you on a crazy cliffhanger note... Right? I was however delightfully surprised that Alcide made an appearance :) 

I don't get it...

So I'm trying to sell my dinette set on Kijiji.ca and I've had it up before but didn't really actively try to sell it and had some offers here and there in the past but in the end I decided to just keep the table. Now I really want to sell it because I have my "fancy" new kitchen and I want a fancy new something to go with it. Is it financially smart on my part to do so... NO, but do I ever do anything financially smart, NO... so this shouldn't come to any surprise to most of you who know me. 

Anyways in an effort to try and gain a better sale price for my table, I decided to take new photo's of the table, all set up with some plates and placemats... nothing Martha Stewart would find acceptable, but for Kijiji it's pretty darn presentable.  Now here's where my confusion sets in... why did my old shizzy pics yield more responses than my new pics?  Since posting my new pics I've also reduced the price, given more detail in the information box and I ended up with lame responses like $100 and I'll take it off your hands this weekend. Or I'm new to the country, deliver it for me and reduce the price. Uhhh people I'm not running a charity, I am the charity! I'm poor and I need cash, and since I don't have any gold I want to cash in, this is my next best option!!  

So what's a girl to do? Well I reposted the ad and used some old and some new pics. The main pic is an old one... and what do you know... 2 responses already.  While I'm sure there won't be any bidding wars, I did learn a valuable lesson... when using kijiji, make things look as ugly as possible... give little to no detail, therefore enticing the potential buyers to contact you and if you make things look too pretty they might get intimidated.  

A couple is coming to check the table out tomorrow... fingers crossed they offer a good price and take it away... I'm the worst negotiator and could quite possibly end up paying for someone to take it away for me. 

Here's the pics I'm refering too, old than the new:

New pics:

Update on Bosnian Puppies

Thanks Curtis :)
Unfortunately 1 puppy didn't make it, but 5 were saved. I want one!!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/djpopeurban/puppies-thrown-into-bosnian-river-saved-and-up-for-zu0

Heeeelarious!!

Stole this from Pat on facebook, thanks!!
So I think from what I read so far is that this guy finds ads online and has a field day answering them. Which is great because so far I've had a field day reading them... lol.

http://dontevenreply.com/index.php

He shot the rubber, he's a hero!!

In case you didn't watch the original, well you really just gotta because this lady is hilarious!!

Mi amigos, mi amigos!!

Not just a pretty face!

Don't know what to do with your used dryer sheets? Curtis does!! Check out his genius idea for keeping his sneaks and shoes smelling Downy clean!!

I'm backing up, backing up ♪♫

You can't make this stuff up!

Just in Time!!

True Blood Out, Dexter In!

Is it bad that I'm in lurve with a serial killer?

Oh Sammy Sam Sam!!

Happy 30th Birthday to my Bestest friend Ever.... Ms Samantha Wild!!!

This lovely lady and I have been friends since my first day of High School in Physical Science Class! I had just left Mr. Di's geography class balling my eyes out but Sam was at my rescue with pen, paper and a years worth of notes! It was on that same day I noticed her very nice penmenship that I have been trying to duplicate to this very day!

Samantha is the best friend a girl can have.  She's loyal, caring and extremely generous. She also has the same size shoe give or take and that's really important :) 

Should you have had the misfortune of embarassing yourself in front of her, well I don't have to tell you, you're probably still being laughed at!! But that's what I miss the most, even if it's something stupid I did, I miss laughing with my Sam. :(

At least I know she's being taken  care of... seeing as she's dating the man of OUR dreams! lol.  Sammy I hope you get spoiled today and I predict a very good year with new dreams coming true for you. Also you have Bella now so everything is 10x better with her :)

I miss you and Love you xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Wish I could be there with you :)

How I lost my faith in humanity...

I was on Kijiji updating my make-up artist ad and was scoping out the competiton when all of a sudden I see a "wanted" ad for a mobile acrylic toenail tech... So I'm thinking ok, well maybe something happened to this girls foot and she wants to make her feet look as normal as humanely possible... except that upon closer inspection, ie, opening the ad, the EXACT OPPOSIT is true. She wants to look as insanely un-normal as humanely possible. Don't believe me? Here's the ad, and here's the pic!! Just so we're all clear, this is never appropriate... beaver's don't even have claws this long.

http://ottawa.kijiji.ca/c-services-health-beauty-looking-to-regularly-get-acrylic-toe-nails-done-W0QQAdIdZ226769938

Ooops!! Sorry Shayla!!

Hey girl, I just saw on facebook that its also your birthday, and if I remember correctly you and your beau share the same day! So happy birthday to you both and I hope you both spoil each other... or at the very least that you get spoiled!! lol. 

Shayla is a Canada Council "alumna" and is recently married to another Canada Council "alumnus" :) 
However, both have left Council for greener pastures and we wish them continued success and happiness in their careers... blah blah blah

Shayla, please come back!!!!

lol.

Happy Birthday and pls keep reading the blog!! :)

Bosnian woman tosses puppies in river...

So Curtis sent me this and told me NOT to watch the video, so I didn't watch the video. If you thought the woman putting the cat in the compost bin was cruel, well, she's got nothing on this bitch. I really hope they find this chick and arrest her because this is criminal.
http://www.ottawacitizen.com/life/Online+hunt+woman+puppy+drowning+video/3464672/story.html

Happy Birthday Kimme!!!

Happy Dirty Thirty Bella!!

For those of you who don't know this purdy lady, she had the pleasure of being my roommate while we were in college in Miami!!  Now I know people are expecting wild stories of our over-priveledged youth, but truth is we were both really good girls....and what happens on Brickell Bay stays on Brickell Bay!! lol.

Kimme lives in Bermuda, has her patutie son Jake, a handsome husband AND is a Dolphin Trainer!!! Serioulsy though, can it get any unfairer than that? lol. Just kidding!

I hope today is filled with fun & prezzies, in particular that Gucci Purse you've been coveting since June... that way when I come visit, I can borrow it!! lol. JK.

Big kiss to you and Jake and the family!

xoxo